Ride 'Em, Cowboy!
by Failure Turtle
Summary: DX are the selfproclaimed peace keepers of WWE. With DX running around, how much peace can there really be?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I wanted to see if there were any western stories on here, and apparently, there aren't. Well, since I revolutionized the art of Cody, I'll do a western for fun. This should be funny.**

**Now I won't be surprised if a bunch of freaks start copying and doing western.**

**This story stars the lovely members of D-Generation X. They are going to be the sheriffs of the WWE, patrolling the backstage areas on their "horses." Expect mayhem to ensue. I am laughing just thinking about this.**

**Kind of AU, I suppose. Lita is still here for this.**

"Hunter!" Shawn yelled to his partner.

"What?" Triple H replied, entering the room. He was carrying two cowboy hats. "I had to steal JBL's hats so we can be in full uniform for patrol tonight."

"Oh, thanks," Shawn said, taking one of the hats from Triple H. "Don't forget your badge," he said, tossing one to Triple H.

"Thanks, partner," Triple H answered, starting to pin it to his shirt. "Ow!" he screamed when he poked himself with the pin.

"Oh, jeez, Hunter! Quit being such a baby! Do I have to do everything for you?" Shawn asked, pinning Triple H's badge to his shirt for him.

"Not everything," Triple H blushed. "Ready to go police everyone around?" he asked, flipping his long hair under the cowboy hat.

"Hunter! Why do you forget everything? We can't forget our horses! To the stable!" Shawn squealed, tossing his hands up in the air in disgust after putting on his cowboy hat.

The pair walked over to the door and stopped at the umbrella stand. They pulled out two toy horse heads on a stick, like the ones that little kids run around on. They both straddled their "horses" and galloped out of the room.

"Tally ho!" Hunter screamed, pointing forward with his fist.

"Hunter, remember what they told us in the sheriff safety course: _two_ hands on the horse at all times," Shawn warned. Triple H instantly grasped his horse with both hands after Shawn's warning.

JBL walked out of a door in front of them. "Hey, you hooligans! Give me back my hat!" JBL started chasing after them as Sheriff Rangers DX turned around on their horses and galloped back the other way.

"What do we do, Hunter? This Wicked Witch of SmackDown is chasing after us!" Shawn screamed.

"Shawn, why am I always the brains of the operation? We shoot at him of course," Triple H suggested.

"Brilliant!" Shawn replied. Both men reached down to the belt loops on their pants. They unhooked their tiny squirt guns.

"Take that, evil JBL!" Hunter bellowed, shooting a weak stream at JBL. "Oh, no, Shawn! I'm running out of ammunition!"

"There's a bathroom right there!" Shawn pointed with his free hand. "You can reload there."

"What about JBL?"

"I've got it, don't worry."

Hunter rode his horse into the bathroom. Shawn jumped off of his horse, cutting off JBL. "Wait right there!" he screamed, holding out his hands in front of JBL, stopping him in his tracks.

JBL froze there, confused. He and Shawn heard what they thought was water running in the sink. Triple H came out of the bathroom, holding his horse and squirt gun in one hand and zipping up his fly with the other. "Sorry, had to upgrade the ammo," he said, jumping back on his horse. Sheriff Rangers DX took off at a blazing speed, leaving JBL in their dust.

"You'll rue the day you crossed me, Sheriff Rangers DX!" JBL screamed after he couldn't see Triple H and Shawn anymore.

Sheriff Rangers DX returned to their headquarters, also known as their locker room. They didn't share one with anyone else for fear of sabotage form their enemies.

"That was a close one, Shawn," Hunter said as they entered their headquarters, putting their horses back into their "stable."

"Sure was, partner," Shawn replied, hanging both of their hats up on hooks above the stable.

"What's next on our agenda?"

"Hm," Shawn hummed, checking the card for the night. "It seems that Edge and Lita have a match against John Cena tonight. Should we go and patrol?"

"Sure. That sounds like a good time. I'm always up for saving a damsel in distress, and I'm not talking about Lita," Hunter winked.

Until next time…

**A/N: I love this!**

**Now I'm just counting down until someone steals this idea.**

**Review/alert/fav**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is funnier than Razor's Edge! Are you guys delusional?! Only four reviews? That's horrible.**

**Okay, yet another new story is up. It's RandyxMaria, and it's called "And Then There Was Maria." Read that.**

**And you should all read "Her Killer Smile" by CharlieChaos. I'm in it.**

Triple H and Shawn watched the television monitor in their locker room. Triple H excitedly jumped out of his chair and pointed at the monitor when he was Edge and Lita appear. They were on their way to the ring. "Look, Shawn! Red alert!"

Shawn jumped out of his seat as well. He put his hands on the side of his face, much like the kid from "Home Alone."

"Well don't just stand there, Shawn!" Hunter yelled, shaking Shawn by the shoulders.

"But this is the most dangerous mission we've ever attempted!" Shawn yelled back, shaking Triple H in the same way. "We could die, Hunter!"

Triple H let go of Shawn's shoulders. With his right hand, he put his index finger in the air, signifying that he had an idea. "I've got it, Shawn! I've got protection!"

"Oh, really, Hunter? Good going! What have you got?"

Triple H walked over to his duffel bag and pulled out a two small red boxes. He tossed one to Shawn, who just looked at it.

"I got condoms, Shawn. That should protect us from Lita."

Shawn scratched his head. "Hunter, I've got kids!"

"Yeah, so? Better to be safe than sorry."

Shawn shrugged. "I suppose you're right. Now, let's go!"

Sheriff Rangers DX grabbed their horses and Triple H went to open the door. Shawn stopped him saying, "Hey, do you have your gun this time?"

"Yeah," Hunter replied, showing Shawn his gun. "It's still freshly loaded, too, if you know what I'm saying. Tally ho!"

"Wait!"

"What is it this time?"

"Hunter, we have to _name_ our horses to be officially official."

"Okay," Hunter said. "Mine looks kind of like a jackass, so I'm going to name him Vince."

"Hm, I don't know if I can top that one…"

"Don't worry, Shawn. I'm sure that you'll think of a good name," Hunter consoled his partner, sounding motherly.

"Well, I _guess_ that mine kind of looks like Randy Orton," Shawn said, looking at his horse. It had a purple face with bright orange hair.

"Yeah, you're right. Randy's face is always rather purple. I think it's the lack of oxygen he gets when he gets all sweaty thinking about Edge."

Shawn covered his ears, screaming, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"It's okay, Shawn. Just call him Little Orton. We have to go save Cena now."

"Alright, then, partner. Let's go!"

Sheriff Rangers DX galloped on their horses out to the ring, interrupting the match. "What the hell are you guys doing out here?" Edge yelled.

Triple H pulled a microphone out of his pocket. "You see, Edge, we heard that there was a damsel in distress out here, and we're the peace keepers of this here ranch."

A sound worker already handed Edge a microphone. "Lita isn't in any trouble. I'm the one kicking ass here." Edge pointed to the floor by the announce table where John Cena was lying down, hurting.

"Oh, no, Edge. We weren't talking about Lita. We were talking about Cena." 

Edge started laughing. "So, you think that Cena is a damsel in distress? Good luck saving him. Me and Lita will have fun kicking all three of your asses."

"Oh, you see, Edge, we have protection against Lita." DX reached into their pockets and pulled out the condom boxes.

"What the hell is that?" Lita shrieked.

"Nay! We banish you, STD devil!" Shawn yelled, taking some condoms out of the box and tossing them at Lita, hitting her in the face.

"Come on, Shawn. I think that's enough protection to keep the world safe…Then again, maybe not." Triple H threw the whole box at Lita. His toss was bad, and it ended up hitting Edge in the chest. He caught the box.

"Oh, really funny, DX," Edge said, throwing the box on the ground. It crushed at the force.

"Thanks! We thought so, too," Shawn said.

Sheriff Rangers DX galloped over to the fallen Cena.

"Come on, John! Get up! We're here to save you!" Triple H urged, pulling Cena up to his feet.

"There's no way that both of you can fit on Vince, Hunter. Come on, John, you can ride on the back of Little Orton," Shawn suggested.

They pulled Cena onto the back of Shawn's horse. Shawn tried to go, but the horse wouldn't follow. "Come on, John! You need to help me out, here!"

Embarrassed, John started galloping with Shawn next to Hunter. The three made their way back up to the ramp, dodging attacks from Edge and Lita.

Until next time…

**A/N: Okay, now I def. have to up the rating on here. I just realized that DX does some pretty pervish things…And I intend to cash in on those antics.**

**Review/alert/fav**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: After much deliberation, I've decided that DX needs a whipping boy to help them out with the dirty work.**

**Cody is **_**so**_** in. He's perfect for the part.**

Shawn was leaning back in a steel chair, twiddling his thumbs and humming "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred.

"Shawn, why the hell are you humming that ridiculous song?" Triple H asked, looking up from the WWE schedule for the week.

"Hunter, I'm allowed to. Haven't you heard my entrance music?"

Triple H nodded. "I suppose you're right." He traced his finger down the schedule. It included the cards for RAW, SmackDown, and ECW. He stopped when he came across something to his liking. "Look, Shawn! SmackDown is in the same city as RAW this week. Since we're already here, do you want to mess with JBL?"

Shawn jumped out of his seat and walked behind Triple H, looking over his shoulder at the card. "Sure, that sounds like fun."

"You know, Shawn, we aren't getting any younger here. I think we need a young kid to help us with the dirty work. I think I threw out my back when we were tossing condoms at Lita," Hunter explained, grabbing his back.

Shawn placed his hand under his chin, as if he were in deep thought. Nodding, he said, "You know what, Hunter? I think you're right. Who were you thinking of?"

"I don't know. I think we should just make our usual rounds and see if anyone pops up."

"Good idea. Got your gun?"

"Loaded," Triple H said, showing Shawn the bright green squirt gun that was tucked into one of his belt loops on his jeans.

"Got mine," Shawn said, brandishing his bright orange squirt gun at Triple H.

"Hey! The first rule of gun safety is to _never_ point it at someone unless you intend to shoot them!"

"Don't worry, Hunter. It's only water. Let's get Little Orton and Vince and go find ourselves a minion."

Sheriff Rangers DX hopped on their horses and galloped out of their headquarters. They passed a multitude of Superstars, but none of them had come up to their liking.

Hunter pointed out the Superstars, but Shawn always had a reason not to pick them.

"Cena?"

"No, he's too popular. You know he's _too cool_ for DX."

"True. How about Jeff Hardy?"

"Nah, we don't need any more gay jokes with the rainbow hair thing."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that, Shawn. You should know all about accepting people for who they are. How about that Santino guy?"

"Humorous as that would be, he would butcher every word we say."

"True, once again. How about Ron Simmons?"

Shawn stopped in his tracks, and Hunter followed suit. They two stared at each other for a few moments. "Nah," they both said at the same time, taking off again.

"Shawn, we've been through a multitude of Superstars, but none of them have come up to our liking."

"Alright, the next person we encounter, we'll pick if they aren't a total idiot."

"Fat chance of that happening," Triple H said as the two turned the corner.

The next people they saw were Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly. Sheriff Rangers DX galloped up to the unconventional tag team and stopped once they reached them.

"What the hell do you guys want?" Holly asked.

"Settle down, there, Hardcore. We're in need of a minion," Hunter said.

"I don't want to be your little minion," Holly said.

Shawn let out an overly exaggerated sigh. "Fine, Holly. You don't _have_ to be our minion," Shawn said in a fake depressed voice.

"Hey, Cody, do you want to do it?" Triple H asked.

"What's in it for me?"

Hunter and Shawn looked at each other, and then silently agreed on something. "We promise that we won't mess with you. And if we visit ECW, we'll tell your daddy that you're being a good little boy and staying out of trouble," Shawn said.

Cody thought about it for a moment and then nodded his agreement.

"Cool beans," Hunter said. "Follow us."

Triple H and Shawn got off of their horses and carried them along with them. They brought Cody back to their headquarters.

"Do you like JBL?" Hunter asked as they walked in.

"Not especially," Cody said. "That guy gets on my nerves."

Triple H and Shawn smiled at each other. "Hunter, it looks like we've picked a good one."

_SmackDown_

"Do you know the plan?" Shawn asked Cody. DX and Cody were hiding in the gorilla position, peeking out behind the curtain. JBL was standing in the ring, talking about how much the city they were in sucked.

"Yep," Cody replied, waving the scroll that he had in his hand.

"Good, because it starts…now!" Hunter said, pushing Cody out onto the stage.

JBL noticed him coming down to the ring. "Cody Rhodes, this isn't RAW. You're daddy isn't here. Why are you interrupting JBL?"

Cody got in the ring and grabbed the microphone right out of JBL's hands. "Quit talking about yourself in the third person. It makes you sound more retarded than you already are. I have an apology to read you. It's from DX. They want to say that they're sorry for stealing your hats." Cody carefully walked over to the other side of the ring so that he was facing the ramp and JBL had his back to it. Cody unrolled the scroll and read, "Dearest JBL, we are totally aware that you are the wicked witch of SmackDown."

The crowd went nuts. Shawn and Triple H were sneaking down the ramp with their squirt guns. They were creeping down ever so carefully on their tiptoes, as if they were afraid that the slightest sound would give them away. Shawn was carrying an extra cowboy hat with him.

Cody continued reading. "While we are not afraid of your evil ways, we believe that we may have gone too far with our antics this time. We aim to entertain, not to personally offend our targets."

Triple H rolled into the ring under the bottom rope. Shawn handed him the hat and stayed on the outside. Triple H opened the container of his squirt gun and dumped its contents into the hat. It was a sick yellow substance. Shawn plugged his nose and waved his hand in front of his face, signifying that the liquid smelled really bad. Hunter turned to face the back of JBL. He reached up and pulled JBL's hat right off of his head. Shawn jumped into the ring as JBL turned around. Hunter placed the new hat on JBL's head, and the special ammunition that Hunter filled the hat up with spilled down JBL's face. Sheriff Rangers DX stood back to back with their arms crossed as JBL flailed around in disgust and Cody read the last part of the letter.

"However, if you actually thought that this was a sincere apology, then you are certainly a much bigger idiot than we had anticipated. And if you're not down with that, we've got two words for you." Cody rolled the scroll back up and placed it under his arm. The crowd yelled "suck it," but Hunter and Shawn screamed, "YOU'RE WELCOME!"

Sheriff Rangers DX and their minion Cody all ran back up the ramp, laughing at what they had done to JBL.

Until next time…

**A/N: I'm going to run out of ideas quickly.**

**I think I might have to bring ol' Bischoff back.**

**Review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am slowly falling in love with this story. The pace of the falling is quickening since I put my darling Cody in here.**

**I swear, if he isn't on RAW tonight…I will be very, **_**very**_** upset.**

Sheriff Rangers DX were sitting in their headquarters, as usual, before RAW. This time, Shawn was looking at the card for the night for RAW. Triple H was taping up his hand.

"Hunter, why are you taping up your hand? Did you hurt it when you were filling up that hat with urine?"

"No. It's just that holding onto Vince's shaft is giving me blisters," Hunter said, rubbing his hands.

Shawn's jaw dropped. His eyes bulged out. "Hunter! You're married to Vince's daughter! That's like incest!"

"Shawn, I meant the horse!" Triple H yelled back, turning bright red.

There was a knock at the door. Hunter went to answer it. "Oh, hey, Cody. Got any good stuff to report for us?" he asked after opening the door.

"Sure do," Cody answered, nodding and stepping into the room. "Eric Bischoff is here to promote his lame book again."

"Didn't that book come out like seven years ago?" Hunter asked, rolling his eyes.

"No, Hunter," Shawn said, rolling his eyes back at Hunter. "It was more like ten."

"Do you two have any ideas to wreak havoc tonight?" Cody asked.

Shawn and Triple H smiled at each other. "As always, we do," Hunter said.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Shawn squealed. "I have more additions to our uniforms." Shawn went over to his duffel bag and pulled out three boxes. He tossed one each to Cody and Triple H.

"What is this, Shawn?" Hunter asked before even opening the box.

Shawn let out an exasperated sigh. "Hunter, you _know_ that you never tell someone what their present is."

"You're right, Shawn. I'm sorry," Hunter said. He and Cody opened up the boxes. There was a set of spurs in both of them. Also in Cody's box was a little badge that said "Junior Deputy."

"What's this?" he asked Shawn, picking up the badge.

"Cody, can't you read?" Shawn asked, approaching him. "It says _Junior_," he pointed at the word 'junior,' "_Deputy_." He pointed at the word 'deputy.' "It means that you are officially with us."

"Oh, cool," Cody said, pinning the badge to his shirt.

"See, Hunter? He's already smarter than you. He didn't poke himself with the badge like _you_ did."

"Shawn…" Hunter mumbled. "Anyways, what are the spurs for?"

Shawn tossed his hands up in the air, frustrated with Hunter's incompetence. "Hunter, I am frustrated with your incompetence! _Obviously_, they go on your wrestling boots."

"Come on, Trips. Even _I _understood that," Cody said.

"Okay, fine. The kid is smarter than me, then. Do _you_ have any ideas of how we can mess with Bischoff?" Hunter asked, getting perturbed.

"Hunter, quit getting so perturbed. I'm just the messenger."

"Well, you're going to have to live up to that Junior Deputy title somehow," Hunter argued back.

"Settle down, children! We have mischief to attend to!" Shawn said, interrupting the argument.

"What do I have to do tonight?" Cody asked.

"I've got an idea," Hunter announced, taking a camera out of his bag and tossing it to Cody. "I need you to go and find Khali's translator, Ranjin Singh, and take a picture of him."

"Sure thing," Cody said. He attached the spurs to his wrestling boots and walked out the door to find Ranjin Singh.

"What are you going to do with the pictures?" Shawn asked.

"Oh, you'll see."

Cody returned a short while later with multiple pictures of Ranjin. Shawn hooked up the digital camera to his laptop. He uploaded the pictures. Cody and Hunter stood behind him, laughing at all the pictures. They picked a nice and funny one to use. Shawn burned it onto a CD and handed it to Cody. "Cody, I need you to give this to one of the guys in the AV truck. His name is Reginald. He is a good friend of DX. He is the one that helps us with our mischief making."

"Okay, I'll be back," Cody said, walking towards the door.

"We might not be here, though. You'll know where we are," Hunter called after him as Cody left.

Eric Bischoff was in the ring, ranting about how no one knew the meaning of controversial except him.

_Are you ready?_

DX's music went off. They rode Vince and Little Orton down to the ring. "Hold it right there, Mr. Eric Bitch-a-lot," Hunter said.

"DX? What the hell are you doing down here?" Bischoff asked.

Sheriff Rangers DX galloped up the steps and into the ring. They leaned Little Orton and Vince up against one of the turnbuckles. "Settle down, Bitch-a-lot. We aren't looking for trouble," Shawn said.

DX looked at each other. Bischoff stared hard at them.

"Okay, maybe we _are_ looking for trouble…" Hunter trailed off.

Bischoff eyed the bright neon green that was showing on Hunter's waist. "Oh, don't worry, Bitch-a-lot. I didn't pee in this one."

Bischoff let out a sigh of relief. "Anyways, what is the real reason that you two imbeciles are here?"

Shawn put his hand on his chest and gasped. "Mr. Bitch-a-lot! Calling us imbeciles is like the pot calling the kettle black."

"What are you on about?"

"Okay, Mr. Bitch-a-lot. Settle down. Being the nice sheriffs that we are, it is our duty to perform good deeds for the wrestling community. In fact, we have just discovered a fantastic thing about you, Mr. Bitch-a-lot, that you would probably find to be most interesting," Triple H explained.

"And what is that?"

"You see, Mr. Bitch-a-lot, we've found your long lost twin brother," Shawn said.

"What the hell are you two talking about? I have no twin brother!" Bischoff said, stomping his foot on the ground.

"Yeah, you do. We sent young Cody out to get proof. Reginald, would you be so kind as to bring up the proof for us?" Triple H pointed to the titantron.

A picture of Ranjin Singh popped up. His face filled the entire titantron, and his face was all scrunched up.

"Oh my god!" Shawn yelled, jumping up and down. "It's Arab Bischoff!"

"You, DX, are rats! You and that Cody boy should just go away! No one wants to see you! None of this is controversial."

"You know what? You're right, Bitch-a-lot," Hunter said. He reached down and grabbed his squirt gun. He pointed it at Bischoff.

Bischoff took a couple of steps back and put up his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, just put the damn thing down."

"Eric, I told you that I didn't pee in it this time," Hunter said, sniffing the tip of the gun. His face contorted. "My lord, this smells like elephants."

Shawn scratched his head. "Yeah, Hunter, that's because…well, just look at the screen."

The titantron switched to a video. It was a video of Cody at the local zoo. He was paying some guy named Paco to go by the elephant and fill up the gun with elephant urine. Paco did that. He put the gun in a plastic bag and handed it to Cody. Cody turned to face the camera, gave it a thumbs up, and it cut off.

"I told you I didn't pee in it," Hunter said. He pulled the trigger and doused Bischoff in the nasty liquid.

Eric fell to the mat. Once the gun was empty, Hunter and Shawn grabbed Vince and Little Orton. They galloped back to their headquarters.

Until next time…

**A/N: FINALLY RAW is on!**

**Review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: It's been a while for this story...I grew out of the humor thing for a while when I was solely focusing on "A Rock and a Hard Place." Now, I'm back, and better than ever (to quote Eric Bischoff's entrance theme...)**

**Enjoy. As of right now, I have no idea how long this is going to be. The chapter, I mean, not the story. Okay, I have no idea how long the story is going to be, either. Whatever.**

Shawn and Hunter stood against the wall, waiting at the gorilla position for Cody and Hardcore Holly to finish their match. They had just won the tag team titles from Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch.

"My, Hunter, it appears as if our little Cody is growing up," Shawn said, sarcastically clutching his hand over his heart. "He's growing up so fast."

"Hey, good job, kid. You won a title," Hunter said, smacking his gum as Hardcore Holly rolled his eyes. "Oh, you too, Bob," Triple H nodded at Hardcore Holly.

"Whatever, Hunter," Hardcore Holly sighed, walking away from the three mischievous deviants.

"Hey, kid," Hunter said to Cody, "do you even _like_ teaming up with Hardcore?"

"Eh, it's alright," Cody shrugged. "I mean, we won the belts, didn't we."

Hunter grinned. "Oh, no, Hunter. I know what you're thinking!" Shawn squealed.

Cody's eyes got wide. "You guys aren't like, going to try to beat us for the titles, are you?"

"No, we won't do that," Shawn said. "We can't do that. You're pretty much a part of DX now."

"Hey, Cody, does Hardcore Holly ever piss you off in your matches?" Triple H asked.

Cody thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, actually, he does. I hate it when I go to the top rope for a missile dropkick in our corner, and then he blind tags himself in. That pisses me off."

Triple H's grin grew even wider. "You want to mess with him?"

Shawn gasped. "Hunter! He _can't_!"

"Shawn, I need to get you off this Bible crap. You just aren't as fun as you used to be. We're _D-Generation X_, for crying out loud! We're allowed to have some fun!"

"Hunter!" Shawn pleaded, but Triple H ignored him.

"What did you have in mind?" Cody asked.

"Oh, you won't be messing with him. I should have made myself clear on that," Hunter said, kicking himself off of the wall. "All you have to do next week is go on with the match like normal. Shawn and I will take care of everything."

_Next week on RAW_

Hunter and Shawn had sneaked their way down to the ring during the rematch for the World Tag Team Championship.

Cody was on the top rope, getting ready to perform a missile dropkick on Trevor Murdoch. Hardcore Holly, as usual, tagged himself in without Cody's consent. Before Holly could get in the ring, he was attacked by a submarine sandwich, wielded by Triple H. The referee saw this brutal sandwich assault and disqualified the champions.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Holly screamed as he headed for Triple H and Shawn. Triple H was bent over with laughter, and Shawn was pulling him up the ramp by his shirt, trying to get themselves away from the angry beast.

"Hey, Hardcore, listen to Lillian, won't you?" Hunter was finally able to say. 

"Your winners by disqualification, and still the World Tag Team Champions, Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly!"

"Did you have anything to do with this, kid?" Holly asked Cody.

"No, Hardcore, I most certainly didn't."

Until next time...

**A/N: Okay, I love fucking with Hardcore Holly. I hate him.**

**Review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Kennedy, much? I think so…**

"Are you sure that Hardcore Holly isn't mad at you?" Shawn asked Cody as they were plotting their newest scheme on none other than Mr. Kennedy…Kennedy.

"He said he wasn't, and that's good enough for me," Cody said, wrapping up some fishing line.

"Hey, Rhodes, are you and Holly going down to the ring before or after Mr. Kennedy?" Hunter asked, standing over a scale model of the arena with his cowboy hat in his hands, fondling his sheriff's badge.

"Before."

"Damnit! Shawn, it looks like we're going to have to do this one ourselves," Hunter sighed, adjusting his pants.

"Hunter, please! This is not a strip club!" Shawn squealed, covering his eyes with one hand and Cody's eyes with the other.

"Shawn, I'm just adjusting my pants," Triple H blushed.

"Oh, Hardcore Holly did want to know what kind of sandwich it was that you smacked him with last week," Cody informed the two "sheriffs."

"Oh, it was a Subway Meat Lover's sub. We all know that Hardcore Holly _loves_ long meat," Hunter grinned.

"Hunter! There are _children_ in the room," Shawn hissed, pointing at Cody.

"Nah, he's a big boy now. Anyways, I'm off to do our latest dirty deed. Kick ass out there, kid," Hunter said, leaving the room with their latest concoction.

_Later that night_

"I swear, kid, if those two friends of yours come down and attack me again, _your_ ass is on the line," Hardcore Holly threatened his young tag team partner.

"Don't worry, Bob. I had a nice talk with them. You're safe," Cody assured him. _Yeah, for tonight_, he added in his head.

Cody and Holly went down to the ring first to wait for the competition. They ended up waiting by JR and King since they knew that Mr. Kennedy…Kennedy had to do his whole stupid entrance thing.

Kennedy's tag team partner for the night, Santino Marella, came down next. He was stalking down the ramp, without Maria, calling his opponents Softcore Molly and Bundy Crosswalk. When Mr. Kennedy came out, he called for his microphone.

The crowd started laughing hysterically. Mr. Kennedy knew why when he caught what he thought was his microphone. Instead of grabbing a silver metal object, he grabbed a brown feathery one. He jumped back in shock once he realized what he had gotten.

"What?" Mr. Kennedy yelled as Sheriff Rangers DX appeared on stage. "Why are you bothering me?"

"Mr. Kennedy, we are invoking our power as sheriffs in this here ring," Hunter said with a western swagger in his voice.

"What's the crime?" Kennedy inquired, curious as to why he was being humiliated.

"Running your mouth like an idiot!" Shawn answered.

"This is the worst punishment ever! I do not like to put cock near my mouth!" Kennedy screamed.

Shawn covered his ears, but Hunter had to hold in his laughter. "You know, Kennedy, we knew that you didn't like to put cock near your mouth. Actually, we were under the assumption that you liked to put cock _in_ your mouth."

"You little…" Kennedy said. Cody and Holly jumped in the ring. Santino had already taken his spot in the corner, making Kennedy the legal man. The referee rung the bell to start the match. Kennedy left the ring to chase down Sheriff Rangers DX and lost the match via count out.

Until next time…


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This is in honor of the little impromptu DX reunion from Monday.**

"What are we doing today, Shawn?" Hunter asked as they did their usual pre-RAW thing: Hunter standing in the locker room and Shawn running his finger down the card for the night.

"Not sure yet, Hunter. Where's the kid?" Shawn asked, wondering where their little protégé had gone.

"He's too busy being Hardcore Holly's bitch in the ring. Besides, he's probably too cool for us now that he's got that title."

Shawn looked up from his table with his jaw dropped and mouth open wide. "Too cool? For us?"

"Yeah, Shawn, too cool for us," Hunter answered whilst nodding.

"But I don't even know what cool means!"

"I know, Shawn. We went over this before."

"Kids these days…" Shawn sighed as he once again went down the list. "Eureka! I've got it!"

"What is it, Shawn?"

"Maria with Santino versus Jillian Hall with Melina. It's the first match," Shawn explained.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Hunter, I'm the Heartbreak Kid, not the Mind Reader."

"Oh," Hunter sheepishly replied. "Well, I've got an idea." Triple H walked over to his duffel bag and pulled out numerous bandanas in a variety of colors.

"What are these for?" Shawn wondered as Hunter gave him half of the pile.

"Shawn, you know that all good cowboys have bandanas to wear on their heads."

"But I don't wear bandanas. I prefer cowboy _hats_."

"Good thing, too, since the HD…" Hunter muttered under his breath.

"Hunter, we went over this before! It's not my fault!"

"I know, Shawn. I know. Just keep those bandanas handy. We're going to need them."

Jillian Hall was a better wrestler than Maria was, so she was dominating the undercover Playboy girl.

"Why are we interfering in this match?" Shawn wondered out loud as they "sneaked" down the ramp on Little Orton and Vince.

"It was _your_ idea, Shawn," Hunter sighed as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but _you're_ the one with the devious plan."

"Shawn, it's okay. That's what happens when you have kids. You lose your devious-ness."

"But don't you have a kid with what's her face?"

Hunter stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the ramp. "Shawn!" he hissed. "Keep that on the down low. Not even her _dad_ knows that it's my kid."

"Oh…right."

Santino Marella was the first of the wrestlers to see that Sheriff Rangers DX had brought it upon themselves to come down to the ring. "Power Rangers XD! What are you a-doing down here? Are you here to sneak a peek at my Ma-ree-uh?"

Santino continued on his little Italian rant. Shawn stared at him with a blank face. Hunter reached in his pocket and pulled out one of the bandanas he was keeping. He leaned over to Shawn and whispered, "_This_ is part one of why we brought the bandanas."

As Santino was _still_ talking about how no one could sneak a peek at his Ma-ree-uh, Hunter walked up to him and stood about three inches from his face. Santino didn't back down, or shut up for that matter. Triple H reached up and stuffed the bright red bandana into Santino's mouth.

"Hunter, that was like…"

"Brilliant?"

"No, I was going to say some form of capital punishment, but brilliant works. What was part two?"

"Grab Jillian's leg and I'll show you."

Shawn stood next to the fumbling Santino and waited for Jillian to come close. Hunter snuck over to the other side of the ring and leaned against the announcer's table behind Melina.

Maria whipped Jillian over to Shawn, who grabbed her leg and fell to the ground. Melina started her primal yell. Hunter grabbed a yellow bandana this time and exaggeratedly tiptoed up behind Melina. He reached around her and stuffed the yellow cloth into her mouth to stifle the yell.

To add insult to…gagging, he took the microphone that was willingly being handed to him by Lillian Garcia. "Jesus, Melina, are you what dog whistles are modeled after?"

Melina ripped the bandana out of her mouth as Jillian rolled Melina up for the three count. It had taken Santino way longer than Melina to figure out just _how_ to get the red bandana out of his mouth as he was just tossing it on the ground. Melina ran into the ring, grabbed Jillian, and the two Divas angrily stomped up the ring due to Sheriff Ranger DX's interference. Santino jumped in the ring, but so did Shawn and Hunter.

Ignoring the fallen Maria, Santino snatched Triple H's microphone right out of his hands. "You stupid Power Rangers! You a-costed my Ma-ree-uh the match! This is an outrage! There would not be this type of how you say, bad things in Italy."

Shawn grabbed the microphone back. "In case you didn't notice, I grabbed _Jillian_, not Maria. And the only reason we were down here was to punish Melina."

"What was the crime?" Santino asked.

"Killing our eardrums," Hunter answered, talking into the microphone that Shawn was still holding. "And we're about to punish you."

"How?"

"Well," Shawn started, "Maria already _did_ Playboy, Santino. The shoot was months ago."

Maria was embarrassedly walking back up the stage.

"And there's one more thing, Santino," Triple H said, now in full control of the microphone. "We're punishing you for butchering the English language."

"What? I am--"

Shawn interrupted Santino's second rant with a dose of Sweet Chin Music.

Until next time…


	8. Chapter 8

Shawn huffed as he entered the room. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he tossed his hands up in the air and said, "Bob said we can't use his tag team partner anymore."

"We don't have a little minion anymore?" Hunter asked, taking off his cowboy hat and running his hands through his hair.

"Nope. Clearly, these are distressing times."

"Yeah, that explains why you're looking especially bald today," Hunter muttered under his breath, looking over the ECW roster.

"What was that?" Shawn asked. He didn't quite hear what Hunter had said, but he had some sort of idea.

"Nothing…"

"You know, Hunter, I'm getting really sick of you cracking jokes about my hair. It's not my fault, okay? It will happen to you, too, someday," Shawn explained.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No! You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I am The Game!"

"Well, I'm the Showstopper, and if I want to stop your hair growth, I will," Shawn said, ending the argument. "Anyways, what's on the agenda for tonight?"

"Well, it's funny that you mention Bob being a loser, because I was thinking…"

"Well we all know that's not your strong suit, Hunter. Were you wearing your thinking helmet?"

"Shawn, my mommy said that I didn't have to wear my thinking helmet anymore. I'm a big boy now! Anyways, we need to invade ECW. I think I've just found our newest companion…" Hunter finished as he pointed to a specific name on the ECW roster.

Shawn leaned over Hunter's shoulder to take a look at who he wanted to recruit to the DX Army. "Hunter, you _cannot_ be serious."

"Oh, but I am. I do not joke about these kinds of shenanigans. This is like…Mr. McMahon loving cock-like seriousness."

"I…just…what are we going to do, hog tie Big Daddy V?"

"That's the plan."

"You are going to kill me one day, Mr. Hunter."

Triple H let out a chuckle as he put on his cowboy boots. "I won't kill you yet. We have hogs to tie."

The grabbed Vince and Little Orton and galloped out of the building to take over the Land of Extreme.

X

"This isn't quite the tag team I thought we'd be running in on…" Shawn trailed off as they peeked out from behind the curtain.

"Wait for it…now!" Hunter exclaimed. He charged forward with a plastic sword that he had slung through his belt loop.

Right when they entered the stage, Shawn decided that it was time for a history lesson. He quickly brought down Hunter's arm and said, "Cowboys didn't have swords!"

"Shawn, we are not cowboys. We are sheriff rangers. Now get back on your horse and let's go!"

The match in question was John Morrison and The Miz versus Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney.

When Morrison saw that they were being interrupted, he grabbed The Miz and they went to observe with Tazz and Joey Styles. "We don't have stick ponies at the Palace of Wisdom."

"What _do_ you have at the Palace of Wisdom?" Joey inquired.

"We have…John Morrison," he answered.

"AND THE MIZ!" Miz added.

John Morrison looked at the Miz and then back at Joey Styles. "…No."

"I'm sure you're all wondering why we're out here tonight," Hunter said to the crowd.

"And quite frankly, so am I," Shawn said. Even though Hunter had explained it to him, he still didn't understand _why_.

"Me too," Tommy Dreamer said.

"Well, it's funny you should ask, Tommy. You see, we're here for Colin."

Colin shirked against the turnbuckle in fright.

"Don't worry, Colin, it's just--" Shawn started, but then interrupted himself by Sweet Chin Music-ing Tommy Dreamer into oblivion.

"I…you…but…" Colin stammered.

"You're coming with us," Hunter said.

"But…"

Colin never got to defend himself because Hunter picked him up and threw him on the back of Vince as they galloped their way out of the arena to pull more shenanigans.

Until next time…


End file.
